Lesson: How To Stop Fighting With Your Wife or Husband/ExerciseL1

Listening Exercise

Ahh,

, they start with such

and

until you start bugging the

out of each other. He never

like she is listening, she stops

to even explain

. When something just slightly

happens, battlefield-living room

. Here is the thing: There is a very simple way to get

this. And it's gonna be painfully simple,

on the painful. It's called The Imago Dialogue. Treat it like a game you have to

. Choose who goes first. That person

talking about something. Anything. The

person listens and tries to remember

what she is saying. When it starts to get

to remember, he says "stop" and then he repeats back exactly what she just said. Then he

"Is there anything else?" If there's more, she continues. Do this over and over and over until he says "is there

else?" and she says "no". Then repeat the

thing back to her. Everything. Now, remember this is not editorializing, this is

repeat back mode. The

step is for him to say, “I imagine this makes you feel...”, and

tell her how that probably makes

feel. Boom, that's it. Don't agree,

or comment on it. Just listen and empathize. Then

roles and do it again. Now, little tip: This only works if you can

the rules! So if your relationship has so much ahh,

that you can't follow the rules, then

a referee.