Lesson: How To Stop Fighting With Your Wife or Husband

Conversation

Answer the following questions. You might be asked to write them down or answer them out loud.

1. What's your opinion about marriage?
2. Why do people get married?
3. What are some qualities that you think are important in a spouse or partner?
4. What's the key for a successful relationship?
5. Do you think it is okay for a couple to live together before getting married? Why or Why not?
6. Why do people sometimes have arguments in relationships?
7. What's the best way to solve problems in a relationship?
8. What are some of the main reasons people get divorced?
9. Why do you think nowadays we have so many divorces going on?
10. Do you think getting married means giving up freedom?

Vocabulary

Look at the vocabulary below. Take time to explore the links for their definitions in English and their translations to Portuguese. When you are done, make a sentence with each word. Ask your teacher if you should write them down or say them out loud.

DT   relationship

DT   such

DT   bliss

DT   bug

DT   crap

DT   slightly

DT   battle

DT   painfully

DT   treat

DT   wimp

DT   dimwit

DT   choose

DT   nag

DT   exactly

DT   over

DT   entire

DT   editorialize

DT   mode

DT   empathize

DT   tip

DT   hire

DT   referee

Video

Watch the following video but DON'T read the transcript yet.

After watching the video do this listening exercise.

Reading practice

Read the following transcript then do the associated reading comprehension exercise.

ExpandTranscript:

Ahh, relationships... They start with such romance and bliss. Until you start bugging the crap out of each other. He never feels like she is listening, she stops trying to even explain herself. When something just slightly irritating happens, battlefield-living room breaks out. Here is the thing, there is a very simple way to get around this. And it's gonna be painfully simple, emphasis on the painful. It's called The Imago Dialogue. Treat it like a game you have to finish. Choose who goes first, that person starts talking about something, anything! The other person listens and tries to remember exactly what she is saying. When it starts to get too long to remember, he says stop and then he repeats back exactly what she just said. Then he says, is there anything else? If there's more she continues. Do this over and over and over until he says, "is there anything else?" And she says "no". Then repeat the entire thing back to her, everything! Now remember: This is not editorializing, this is robotic repeat back mode. The final step is for him to say, “I imagine this makes you feel...”, and then tell her how that probably makes her feel. Boom, that's it. Don't agree, disagree or comment on it. Just listen and empathize. Then switch roles and do it again. Now, little tip: This only works if you can follow the rules! So if your relationship has so much ahh, passion that you can't follow the rules, then hire a referee.

Writing practice

Write a couple of paragraphs giving some ideas on how to avoid and stop fights in a relationship. Make sure to use words you learned from the text and try to make it as long as you can.

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